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Literature Text
I have my share of scars
The world has hurt me
Too little… too much.
I try to be
The perfect
Daughter. Sister. Friend.
Now, I know I'm not...
good, smart, pretty, creative
…enough.
I won't ever be (the) perfection
But since I met you
I can see the change in the mirror|rorrim
Although you aren't noticing it,
I'm smiling all day
I'm feeling like "me"
With you around.
You give me the feeling that
I am imperfectly perfect
The world has hurt me
Too little… too much.
I try to be
The perfect
Daughter. Sister. Friend.
Now, I know I'm not...
good, smart, pretty, creative
…enough.
I won't ever be (the) perfection
But since I met you
I can see the change in the mirror|rorrim
Although you aren't noticing it,
I'm smiling all day
I'm feeling like "me"
With you around.
You give me the feeling that
I am imperfectly perfect
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Comments9
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Ah, sorry I never got back to your note there. >.<
I really like this now, especially with the way you've stressed out certain parts of the poem more to further emphasise what you mean and such.
It wouldn't hurt to put a few commas here and there, like after "Now", although it's not that major a point.
You don't really need "the" before "perfection" but putting brackets around it would make it more interesting, perhaps:
I won't ever be (the) perfection
I think it should be "knew" and not "know"? O.o
You don't really need "the" before "day".
I also feel that it wouldn't hurt to stress the "am" part in "I'm" so:
I am imperfectly perfect.
Good stuff, though.
I really like this now, especially with the way you've stressed out certain parts of the poem more to further emphasise what you mean and such.
It wouldn't hurt to put a few commas here and there, like after "Now", although it's not that major a point.
You don't really need "the" before "perfection" but putting brackets around it would make it more interesting, perhaps:
I won't ever be (the) perfection
I think it should be "knew" and not "know"? O.o
You don't really need "the" before "day".
I also feel that it wouldn't hurt to stress the "am" part in "I'm" so:
I am imperfectly perfect.
Good stuff, though.